Friend in Friend

O how incredibly important it is to have friends, to have true friends, and the only true friends are the ones who love us enough to say the things that hurt us the most. Shame on us all who have not been that friend to others, or have turned our backs to that friend when they came boldly to save us form ourselves. They are a treasure unlike any on this side of heaven, we are foolish to see them as anything less.

This morning The Lord really convicted me of this very thing, there have been several times over the past 2 years where God has clearly told me to confront and expose sin in the lives of those close to me, and I did not. At the time I guess I chose to take the easy road, I chose to believe the lies that demons threw my way, and I chose to doubt that God is good. The other day I was broken as I caught a glimpse of the bitter rotten fruit that these loved ones now bear because of their un repentant sin, that they still don’t even see, the same sin that I was told to expose. My disobedience has caused people that i love to suffer. I have failed as a friend.

Hebrews 3:12-14
Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called ‘today’, that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. For we share in Christ if in deed we hold our original confidence firm to the end.”

This is an evil world and we live in sinful flesh, what chance do we have against that without Godly praying obedient friends?

It’s not really a matter of IF we’ll sin, but WHEN, and when we are in sin it blinds us, it is seeking to lead us to the very gates of Hell if allowed, and with out us even knowing. God is so good and full of grace that he continually gives us opportunities to make right what we have made wrong, through him it is never to late.

I just happened to check a dear friends blog today, and it encouraged me greatly. She shared her heart of this very thing, true accountability. She is a true friend, she loved enough to do what is often the hardest thing to do, hold her friend accountable to the Lord. I don’t know who her friend is or what sin was exposed, but I do know that her boldness to speak the truth is a rare treasure, any person so foolish to turn from a friend such as this is not worthy of them. Thank you for sharing your heart dear friend, I am encouraged and reminded that it is never to late to be a TRUE friend!

~C

Prayer request:
Pray for Josh and I wisdom and discernment for today and the coming weeks, God is moving so fast that we will need extra clarity to be able to discern between the Lords will and our own selfish desires.
Thank you all in advance!

~C

She is 2 months old! She is so beautiful, and truly a blessing form the Lord. The beautiful thing is that I seem to fall in love more deeply with each child, or maybe it is the calling of motherhood that I’m falling for. Life is good right now yet uncertain, we are on the edge of change , I can feel it. Ever since Annikka was born things have been moving, God has been changing our hearts in amazing ways, leading us to things that are the very opposite to who we have always been.

My husband started training for a triathlon, that is amazing to me. Before my eyes I am seeing this man that I have known for 8 years transform into a new man, not just physically but his spiritual strength and endurance is going far beyond the comforts of idleness. It has only been 9 weeks, it just blows me away in what the Lord can do in only 9 weeks with a willing soul.

The Lord is beginning to open and close doors and that is exciting yet scary at the same time. Who knows what is around the corner, only good for sure
~C

Well I have 3 days left until I have this child, I am nervous, not just about the delivery and all the pain and things, but there is something so different about this pregnancy and this child. Our journey with this little girl all started in the fall of 2007, God had placed a burden on me and Josh’s heart to create a Nation, to no longer get in the way / controling the size of our family. He told us to lay this at his feet, to trust him in it fully, and he would provide and do amazing things through our faith and obedience in him. Well after MUCH prayer and much confirmation and lots encouragement we stepped into this call. A month later, in November we conceived Annikka. There has been SOOOO much spiritual warfare surrounding this child, as well as so much refining in Josh and I, leading to brokenness and a surrendering to the Lord of so many things that had been in the way, holding us down, things that were standing between us and our Lord Jesus Christ.

Soon after we stepped into this call he started telling us to do something even more crazy, to let go of our family and our church in Tennessee, he told us that he is leading us to a new season that will be better then the season before, if we will trust him. I mourned over this for months, not about leaving the church (my heart had checked out a long time ago), but about all the close friends that i love dearly. Just like before , with much prayer and LOTS of confirmation, we let go, my last Sunday was Easter Sunday, interesting.

SO much has happened since that Easter Sunday, more then i could ever write down, and i am sure much more then I am even aware of myself. It has been like walking into a great heavenly feast, I guess you don’t realize how starved and thirsty you have been until you eat and drink your fill of the fullness of the Lord.

With all of this going on I hardly even realized I was pregnant, crazy enough, I have had little or no discomfort through the entire pregnancy, seriously! Josh’s Mom said that she thinks it is the Lord’s love and mercy on me for my obedience, maybe it is cause it is nothing I have done.

Only a month or so later, late spring, God started to reveal more about this child, he gave us her name! Josh and I were up late one night talking and out of the blue we started to discuss what we should name this child, Josh had about 3 different names he favored and i had about the same. Josh really really felt led to the Hebrew name Annikka, meaning Grace, because of all the amazing Grace that the Lord has showered us with recently. Then we started talking about this new season he is leading us into, and how it has been all about being broken of our selfishness and surrendering it to the Lord. Truly being taught what it means to pick up your cross and fallow Christ, to be a disciple of Christ, and to leave our old self behind, to be born again. “The Grace To Be Born Again,” I just kept hearing that ringing in my mind as we were talking, Then a memory of my real Dad once telling me that my middle name Renee means born again popped into my head, so I ran to this name book I had and looked it up. Sure enough Renee means To be born again, there it is, her name, Annikka Renee, a marker of what the Lord is doing in our family and the promise that he will complete this work in us.

We were overwhelmed and still are. So I wait for her arrival in three days, excited yet nervous, what will she be like, what will the Lord do in her life as she grows to know Him, what will he teach us through her? I am ever so greatful, and i will never understand God’s loving grace that he would choose us for anything. I am humbled to my face yet my feet feel as if they are off the ground, there is something so special happening and i just can’t wait to see it all!

~C

‘I’m proof that hope is never lost’

By Josh Hamilton (as told to Tim Keown)
ESPN The Magazine

Updated: July 5, 2007

To let you know how far I’ve come, let me tell you where I’ve been.

Not that long ago, there were nights I went to sleep in strange places praying I wouldn’t wake up. After another night of bad decisions, I’d lie down with my heart speeding inside my chest like it was about to burst through the skin. My thinking was clouded, and my talent was one day closer to being totally wasted.

I prayed to be spared another day of guilt and depression and addiction. I couldn’t continue living the life of a crack addict, and I couldn’t stop, either. It was a horrible downward spiral that I had to pull out of, or die. I lay there — in a hot and dirty trailer in the North Carolina countryside, in a stranger’s house, in the cab of my pickup — and prayed the Lord would take me away from the nightmare my life had become.

When I think of those terrible times, there’s one memory that stands out. I was walking down the double-yellow of a two-lane country highway outside Raleigh when I woke up out of a trance.

I was so out of it I had lost consciousness, but my body had kept going, down the middle of the road, cars whizzing by on either side. I had run out of gas on my way to a drug dealer’s house, and from there I left the truck and started walking. I had taken Klonopin, a prescription antianxiety drug, along with whatever else I was using at the time, and the combination had put me over the edge. It’s the perfect example of what I was: a dead man walking.

And now, as I stand on the green grass of a major league outfield or walk to the batter’s box with people cheering for me, I repeatedly ask myself one simple question: How did I get here from there?

I’ve been in the big leagues as a member of the Cincinnati Reds for half a season, but I still find myself taking off my cap between pitches and taking a good look around. The uniform, the ballparks, the fans — it doesn’t seem real. How am I here? It makes no sense to anybody, and I feel almost guilty when I have to tell people, over and over, that I can’t answer that one simple question.

I go to sleep every night with a clear mind and a clear conscience. Every day, I walk into an immaculate clubhouse with 10 TVs and all the food I can eat, a far cry from the rat-infested hellholes of my user past. I walk to my locker and change into a perfectly clean and pressed uniform that someone else hung up for me. I grab a bat and a glove and walk onto a beautifully manicured field to play a game for a living.

How am I here? I can only shrug and say, “It’s a God thing.” It’s the only possible explanation.

There’s a reason my prayers weren’t answered during those dark, messed-up nights I spent scared out of my mind. There’s a reason I have this blessed and unexpected opportunity to play baseball and tell people my story.

My wife, Katie, told me this day would come. At my lowest point, about three years ago, when I was wasting away to skin and bones and listening to nobody, she told me I’d be back playing baseball someday. She had no reason to believe in me. During that time, I did nothing to build my body and everything to destroy it. I’d go five or six months without picking up a ball or swinging a bat. By then, I’d been in rehab five or six times — on my way to eight — and failed to get clean. I was a bad husband and a bad father, and I had no relationship with God. Baseball wasn’t even on my mind.

And still Katie told me, “You’re going to be back playing baseball, because there’s a bigger plan for you.” I couldn’t even look her in the eye. I said something like, “Yeah, yeah, quit talking to me.”

She looks pretty smart, doesn’t she? I have a mission now. My mission is to be the ray of hope, the guy who stands out there on that beautiful field and owns up to his mistakes and lets people know it’s never completely hopeless, no matter how bad it seems at the time. I have a platform and a message, and now I go to bed at night, sober and happy, praying I can be a good messenger.

Addiction is a humbling experience. Getting it under control is even more humbling. I got better for one reason: I surrendered. Instead of asking to be bailed out, instead of making deals with God by saying, “If you get me out of this mess, I’ll stop doing what I’m doing,” I asked for help. I wouldn’t do that before. I’d been the Devil Rays’ No. 1 pick in the 1999 draft, supposedly a five-tool prospect. I was a big, strong man, and I was supposed to be able to handle my problems myself. That didn’t work out so well.

Every day I’m reminded that my story is bigger than me. It never fails. Every time I go to the ballpark, I talk to people who are either battling addictions themselves or trying to help someone else who is. Who talks to me? Just about everybody. I walked to the plate to lead off an inning in early May, minding my own business, when the catcher jogged out to the mound to talk to his pitcher. As I was digging in, the home plate umpire (I’m intentionally not naming him) took off his mask and walked around the plate to brush it off. He looked up at me and said, “Josh, I’m really pulling for you. I’ve fought some battles myself, and I just want you to know I’m rooting for you.”

A father will tell me about his son while I’m signing autographs. A mother will wait outside the players’ parking lot to tell me about her daughter. They know where I’ve been. They look to me because I’m proof that hope is never lost.

They remind me that this isn’t really about baseball. It’s amazing that God allowed me to keep my baseball talents after I sat out three years and played only 15 games last season in A-ball. On May 6, I hit two homers against the Rockies at home, and I felt like I did in high school. I felt like I could do anything on the field.

I’ve been called the biggest surprise in baseball this year, and I can’t argue with that. If you think about it, how many people have gone from being a crack addict to succeeding at anything, especially something as demanding as major league baseball? If I hadn’t been picked up by the Reds after the Rule 5 draft, which opened up a major league roster spot for me, I’d probably still be in A-ball. Instead, I’m hanging around .270 with 13 homers through 60 games with Cincinnati; not bad for a 26-year-old major league rookie. But the way I look at it, I couldn’t fail. I’ve been given this platform to talk about the hell I’ve been through, so it’s almost like I need to do well, like I don’t have a choice.

This may sound crazy, but I wouldn’t change a thing about my path to the big leagues. I wouldn’t even change the 26 tattoos that cover so much of my body, even though they’re the most obvious signs of my life temporarily leaving the tracks. You’re probably thinking, Bad decisions and addiction almost cost him his life, and he wouldn’t change anything? But if I hadn’t gone through all the hard times, this whole story would be just about baseball. If I’d made the big leagues at 21 and made my first All-Star team at 23 and done all the things expected of me, I would be a big-time baseball player, and that’s it.

Baseball is third in my life right now, behind my relationship with God and my family. Without the first two, baseball isn’t even in the picture. Believe me, I know.

***** I’LL NEVER forget Opening Day in Cincinnati. When they called my name during introductions and a sellout crowd stood and cheered, I looked into the stands and saw Katie and our two kids — Sierra, who’s nearly 2, and my 6-year-old stepdaughter, Julia — and my parents and Katie’s parents. I had to swallow hard to keep from breaking down right there. They were all crying, but I had to at least try to keep it together.

I pinch-hit in the eighth inning of that game against the Cubs, and Lou Piniella decided to make a pitching change before I got to the plate. The crowd stood and cheered me for what seemed like forever. It was the best sound I’ve ever heard. When I got into the box, Cubs catcher Michael Barrett looked up at me from his crouch and said, “You deserve it, Josh. Take it all in, brother. I’m happy for you.” I lined out to left, but the following week I got my first start and my first hit — a home run.

Whether I hit two bombs or strike out three times, like I did in a game against the Pirates, I never forget that I’m living with addiction. It’s just part of my life. Johnny Narron, my former manager’s brother, is a big part of my recovery. He’s the Reds’ video coordinator, and he once coached me in fall baseball when I was 15. He looks after me on the road. When they pass out meal money before a trip — always in cash — they give mine to Johnny, and he parcels it out to me when I need it.

I see no shame in that; it’s just one of the realities of my situation. I don’t need to be walking around with $400 in my pocket.

I know I’m different, and my teammates have been very accepting. Being a rookie in the big leagues, there are certain rituals involved, and one of them is carrying beer onto the plane. My teammates gave me that job on one of the first road trips, and I didn’t do it. I didn’t think it would be a good idea for me to be seen carrying beer onto a plane. They respected my decision.

I get a lot of abuse in visiting cities, but it only bothers me when people are vulgar around kids. The rest I can handle. Some of it is even funny. In St. Louis, I was standing in rightfield when a fan yelled, “My name is Josh Hamilton, and I’m a drug addict!” I turned around and looked at him with my palms raised to the sky. “Tell me something I don’t know, dude,” I said. The whole section started laughing and cheering, and the heckler turned to them and said, “Did you hear that? He’s my new favorite player.” They cheered me from that point on.

I live by a simple philosophy: Nobody can insult me as much as I’ve insulted myself. I’ve learned that I have to keep doing the right things and not worry about what people think. Fortunately, I have a strong support group with Katie, my family and Johnny. If I ever get in a bad situation, I know I would have to get out of it and give Johnny a call. The key is not getting myself into those situations, but we’ve talked about having a plan for removing myself just in case. It’s all part of understanding the reality of the addiction.

In spring training, when I hit over .400 and made the team, there was a lot of interest in my story.

I decided to be open about what happened to me; early on, I was doing long interviews before my first game in every city. It’s been amazing how people have responded, and I think being honest helped. I can’t avoid my past, so I don’t try. It’s not always easy, though. I got sick in late May and ended up on the disabled list after going to the hospital with a stomach problem, and I knew I’d have to answer questions about whether I was using again. I can’t control what people think, but the years of drug abuse tore up my immune system pretty good. I get tested three times a week, and if it comes back positive, I know I’m done with baseball for life.

Aside from our struggles as a team, this season has been a dream for me. And that’s fitting, because in a way I had to learn how to dream all over again. When I was using, I never dreamed. I’d sleep the dead, dreamless sleep of a stalled brain. When I stopped using, I found my dreams returned. They weren’t always good dreams; most of the ones I remember were haunting and dark. They stayed with me long after I woke up.

Within my first week of sobriety in October 2005 — after I showed up at my grandmother’s house in Raleigh in the middle of the night, coming off a crack binge — I had the most haunting dream. I was fighting the devil, an awful-looking thing. I had a stick or a bat or something, and every time I hit the devil, he’d fall and get back up. Over and over I hit him, until I was exhausted and he was still standing.

I woke up in a sweat, as if I’d been truly fighting, and the terror that gripped me makes that dream feel real to this day. I’d been alone for so long, alone with the fears and emotions I worked so hard to kill. I’m not embarrassed to admit that after I woke up that night, I walked down the hall to my grandmother’s room and crawled under the covers with her. The devil stayed out of my dreams for seven months after that. I stayed clean and worked hard and tried to put my marriage and my life back together. I got word in June 2006 that I’d been reinstated by Major League Baseball, and a few weeks afterward, the devil reappeared.

It was the same dream, with an important difference. I would hit him and he would bounce back up, the ugliest and most hideous creature you could imagine. This devil seemed unbeatable; I couldn’t knock him out. But just when I felt like giving up, I felt a presence by my side. I turned my head and saw Jesus, battling alongside me. We kept fighting, and I was filled with strength. The devil didn’t stand a chance.

You can doubt me, but I swear to you I dreamed it. When I woke up, I felt at peace. I wasn’t scared. To me, the lesson was obvious: Alone, I couldn’t win this battle. With Jesus, I couldn’t lose.

***** I GET cravings sometimes, and I see it as the devil trying to catch me in a weak moment. The best thing I can do is get the thought out of my mind as soon as I can, so it doesn’t turn into an obsession. When it happens, I talk to him. I talk to the devil and say, “These are just thoughts, and I’m not going to act on them.” When I talk like that, when I tell him he’s not going to get the best of me, I find the thought goes away sooner.

Believe it or not, talking to the devil is no harder to explain than many other experiences I’ve had since that day last December when my life changed. I was working for my brother’s tree service in Raleigh, sending limbs through a chipper, when I found out I’d been selected by the Cubs and traded to the Reds in the Rule 5 draft.

But there is one story that sticks with me, so much so that I think of it every day. I was driving out of the players’ parking lot at Great American Ball Park after a game in May, with Katie and our two girls. There’s always a group of fans standing at the curb, hoping to get autographs, and I stop to sign as many as I can.

And on this particular night, a little boy of about 9 or 10, wearing a Reds cap, handed me a pen and something to sign. Nothing unusual there, but as I was writing the boy said, “Josh, you’re my savior.”

This stopped me. I looked at him and said, “Well, thank you. Do you know who my savior is?”

He thought for a minute. I could see the gears turning. Finally, he smiled and blurted out, “Jesus Christ.” He said it like he’d just come up with the answer to a test. “That’s exactly right,” I said.

You see, I may not know how I got here from there, but every day I get a better understanding of why.

~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~`

Last night My husband Josh and I watched this man break every home run record at the 2008 all star home run derby (28 home runs!) , when interviewed on the field he simply said that Everything he has been able to do is because of his Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!
Side note , he did not win the derby, If you want to know all the details of last nights derby I am sure you can find it online, but it’s not really important.

It blows me away how God takes the broken thrown away people of this world and breathes life into them again, giving them abilities, strengths and wisdom beyond understanding. And He simply does it for the glory of it all!

~C

The new Target in spring hill opened a month or so ago, we went opening day, it was crazy the entire town came and packed it out! Nothing really special , it’s just another store, but something hit me when we were there, out of the hundreds of people that were there we didn’t recognize even one face. We have lived in Spring Hill for almost a year and a half now and we didn’t even know our neighbors, that is when it really hit me, something is not right with this picture, where did we go wrong?
We as believers are called to be a light to the world, a beacon of hope to the hopeless. I believe with all my heart that the Lord called us to Spring Hill, so of course Spring Hill should be our mission field, I guess we have been so busy holding on to the past we have been missing what God has for us to do here and now.
2 Weeks ago we moved from our old Church in Franklin to an awesome church here in Spring Hill, and it is so crazy what God has done in only 2 weeks, God has began to lead us to the people he wants us to be the light to. This is so new for me because Josh and I have always lived in this little Christian bubble, all our friends have always been for the most part like minded, listening to christian music, the works, and it has always been a safe place where God has truly grown us. This new season is so different, the Lord continues to lead us to the lost, the broken hearted, and to the seekers. In 2 weeks we have met all of our neighbors, not just the people who live right next to us but people who live all up and down our street, and others who live in our community. It is shocking to me that any of them would want to hang out with us , we are so different, but God is drawing them to us. I have been given eyes to see them and a heart to love them, I am seeing the almighty power of God.
So we went to Target last night to pick up a few things and we ran into to 5 people we now know, how great it is to be in God’s will, everything just seems to make since in life.
~C

Wow, where am I at today? It has been a while since I last shared my thoughts, it is hard getting used to the internet again, I guess I kind of forget about it.

Things are getting better from the last entry, not that my circumstances have changed at all but I guess it is my understanding. It is crazy how limited our understanding really is, what is far more crazy is that most of the time we walk around thinking we have things figured out.

3 years ago I remembered walking into this old building one morning, with my husband and baby girl, I had no idea that what I would find inside would be home, a beautiful home and family that I had never known. After that morning my life truly began to grow in ways I had never known, I was loved and I learned to love. I gained sisters and brothers that are closer to me then my own real family. I learned to trust, to forgive, I found Joy. I gained strength to stop running from what I feared most, and learned to fight for what I love and hold dear. There were births and birthdays, hugs and fights, laughs and tears. So how do I move on from that, how do I let that go?

I believe with all my heart that we are created for change, for growth, always being molded into something, never finished until the end you know. So why is this so hard?
For months my heart has been changing towards this place that I have called home, in some places I had begun to feel suffocated and others places I had started to feel so alone and lost, it was as if I no longer fit. I have been fighting it, holding on to what this place had once been to me, hoping to somehow find it again. Fear crept in, the thought of leaving it behind was more then I could handle, until one morning PT gave a message about this very thing. “What was God up to,” I thought, with fear and curiosity rising, part of me wanted to know and the other part of me wanted to ignore it. God was and is always up to something, and what that something is is always the same, continually drawing us to him self through change. Old Things have to die so that new things can live. In every season every place in life we eventually reach a dead end, we have to keep moving in order to drink from the water of life.

In PT’s message he said something that shocked me until he explained; he said that even holding on to the good things can hold us back from what He has for us to do now. Those words that he spoke that morning were the very words of God for my heart.
So me and my family finally got the courage to step out in faith, a few months ago we hung out with a new body of believers and it was a breath of fresh air, it felt as if I had been starving and found my self at an overflowing banquet. It wasn’t that this was THE place, but more of confirmation that he is calling us to a new season, a season that will be even better then the one before. We have continued to fellowship with this new body for the past month and I find myself holding back, still fighting the change a little, I am still trying to find that place of letting go, not the family but the old memories.
We have been at such a torn place because we have had one foot in one place and one foot in another, mostly because of our burden to serve the kids and family we have grown to love.
God has called us to love Him with all our heart mind soul and strength first, I don’t know what that fully looks like but I think that we are taking a step in the right direction. I am afraid and I am so sad, yet I am being renewed through it all.
Our lives are in the midst of great change, I have no idea what or where we will go and I guess that is the point, we are fallowing God’s lead, He is the good shepherd and will lead us to green pastures and beside still waters, I will hold on to that.

God has always marked our seasons and steps of faith with new life, as this new life is being formed inside me I will remember what He has done, what He has brought us through and trust that where He is taking us now will be a perfect fit!

~C

Psalms 81:8-12

“Hear, O my people, and I will warn you– if you would but listen to me, O Israel! You shall have no foreign god among you; you shall not bow down to an alien god. I am the Lord your God, who brought you up out of Egypt.

Open wide your mouth and I will fill it.

But my people would not listen to me; Israel would not submit to me.

So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts to follow their own devices.”

Wow it has been almost a year of no internet, as crazy as it sounds I had a hard time signing back up. I have seen a whole new side of life that years of distractions have hidden. However i have missed keeping in touch with all my friends and family. you winn some, you loose some.

I’ll start it off with a BANG, well at least it was for me.

Cadence is such a creative little boy, so yeah i walked into his room where he was playing and found him laughing and jumping on his bed, having a good o”ll time. He decided to decorate his walls with his personal stash of paint, POOP! It was every where, hand print all over the walls, all over his and caylas bedding, chunks of poop on the floor, and a nice little pile on his pillow. It was all over his arms and legs and FACE! His room smelt so bad I nearly lost it s few times. O how I wish I could say that this was just a one time deal, but he did it last week too! Funny , the second time was a lot easer to laugh at then the first. He was just so proud of himself about the whole thing.

Any who, thats it for now.

~C

Life is really hard right now, things aren’t great, there seems to be so much pressure to be strong for everyone. To be really honest, I am scared, I am lonely, and i am weak. There is pressure every where to be everything for everyone and right now i simply have nothing to offer. Josh and i have been in a really bad financial trial, I mean really bad, several things have been shut off, one being our internet (In a coffee shop right now),as well as a month behind in our mortgage.The worst part of this trial is not the lack of money to pay the bills , but the lack of support , I know part of the problem is me, because i haven’t been real about my needs to people who could be there for me, ok well maybe it is more me then i realize. Maybe that is why God has burdened my heart to write this, I know that it is not my burden to carry  but the great fear of being vulnerable , appearing needy, and being weak is overwhelming. On top of everything Josh just told me yesterday that the transmission in his truck is nearly done, and the AC went out a month ago. I Truly TRUST God to provide all our needs but the loneliness is the hard part. I honestly could be ok with being poor for the rest of my life as long as i am rich in relationships, being in relationships with people who truly care is what life is all about, and it is one of the only things that make hard times not so hard.

This trial is really such a blessing, crazy I know, but God has striped every comfort possible, and through that He has revealed amazing TRUTHS to me through the lies of comfort that we live and breathe. Hey this trial is getting me to be real, that has got to count for something.

It is crazy how much freedom I have already been given in just the few minutes that I have been writing.

Who knows what the future holds, the one thing I do know is that the God i love and serve  is the same today as He was yesterday, GOOD!!
God works everything out for the good of those who love Him and have been called according to His purpose. (Rom 8:28)

hey, not sure when I will be back, so good bye for now, I hope you are all well

~C