Friend in Friend

I haven’t written in about a week and it is driving me crazy. I have so much stuff on my mind, thoughts, ideas, revelations, convictions. when i don’t get it out on paper or computer I can’t focus on anything, it is all like a jumbled mess in my head.

Something that I was thinking about today, it is one of those mind knows it but heart hasn’t gotten it yet, well my heart is starting to get it! My heart as a woman is to Plan, Prepare, and Preserve my family and our comforts, my heart is to Nest so that I can put all of my eggs in ONE basket. I realize that I spend nearly all my time and thoughts on those things for the hope of finally getting to THAT place, reaching that goal , and then I will live happily ever after. Who told me that? Who promised me that, it is one of those things where we do and believe something that just doesn’t exist.

I believe it is the Flesh. The flesh desires with every little fiber of it’s self to live in and of the world, Our flesh doesn’t care about the cost of anything as long as it is fast and instant, the flesh is willing to risk it all for the temporary.

It drives me crazy to think that I spend so much time on something that will never happen, as a believer and follower in Christ I am not promised to have the easy life, I am promised persecution. Yet when persecution comes I am caught off guard. We are called to an eternal home where there is true rest, and again i find myself seeking those things in this world that is not my home and where i will find no rest.

I can’t even explain the pain that i feel in the cor of my soul, the pain that comes from dieing to the flesh. We are called to die to the only thing that we know to fallow the unknown. What does that look like , I don’t know. Why is God teaching my heart these things, why is He spending so much time on my heart, I don’t know, in fact I am not sure that I am ready to know that one. I can’t explain it and I’m not even sure that i know what I am experiencing, I do know that something is coming , something BIG and I have no idea what that means, but I just know.

Darn i ran out of time, kids are awake, bye!

~C

Something I thought was cool, ENJOY!

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By Bishop, T. D. Jakes

There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell
you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk.

I don’t want you to try to talk another person into staying with you,
loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying
attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is
never tied to anybody that left.

The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made
manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt
they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are
not joined to you, you can’t make them stay.

Let them go.

And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person it just means that their
part in the story is over. And you’ve got to know when people’s part in
your story is over so that you don’t keep trying to raise the dead.
You’ve got to know when it’s dead.

You’ve got to know when it’s over. Let me tell you something. I’ve got
the gift of good-bye. It’s the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in
good-bye. It’s not that I’m hateful, it’s that I’m faithful, and I know
whatever God means for me to have He’ll give it to me. And if it takes
too much sweat I don’t need it. Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn’t belong to you and was
never intended for your life, then you need to……

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains

LET IT GO!!!

If someone can’t treat you right, love you back, and see your
worth…..

LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you ……..

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge……

LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction……

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or
talents

LET IT GO!!!

If you! u have a bad attitude…….

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better……

LET IT GO!!!

If you’re stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new
level in Him……

LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken
relationship…….

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won’t even try to help
themselves……

LET IT GO!!!

If you’re feeling depressed and stressed…..

LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling
yourself and God is saying “take your hands off of it,” then you need
to……

LET IT GO!!!

Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new
thing NOW !!!

LET IT GO!!!

Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then .

LET IT GO!!!

“The Battle is the Lord’s!”

Today is a really hard day, kids are sick, I have been under major spiritual attack for the past 3 days, and I haven’t had any time with my husband. I am trying to keep my heart in the right place, but I have to say that the holidays this year are starting to get really hard for me. I miss my family, I miss my husband, and I miss having a home to just be. It is so crazy to think of the of all the things that I have taken for granted, but it is even more crazy how little we really need to live and even be happy.

I keep wondering why God has us here, where we are right now, I don’t know that I will understand any time soon. I think is it going to be one of those things when 10 years down the road you look back and see it all come together like a beautiful puzzle.

I do know that God has us here for a reason, and a good one. Being here has caused me to S..L..O..W down a bunch, i haven’t had a house to keep me busy, I have had a lot of time to think. Some times that is a good thing. Any how I guss that is it for today.

~C

Why do we spend so much time thinking about other people? Really I know I can’t be the only one that is fully human.

Yesterday I found myself analyzing something a friend said. I was having a conversation with someone and a friend, unaware of what was going on, blurted a thought she had of me in front of the person I was talking to. I have found myself replaying those words over and over again in my head. Thinking, does she really think that of me? Why would she say that? And then there is anger, frustration and hurt feelings on my heart, I continued to go through a flood of emotions. And to think, if I just let it go, I mean really let it go at the very second that it came out of her mouth, What if I didn’t care what she thought of me? It is crazy to think how much time I put into one little comment from another person, What a distraction and stumbling block that I just put before my feet. There I go trying to do God’s job again,with out even realizing it, putting my thoughts on someone else heart instead of my own.

His Job is not only to SAVE everyone from themselves , but His Job is to FREE everyone from them selves, and from the ocean of lies that we drown ourselves in daily.

So Why , why do we continue to do a Job that is NOT ours, on top of that, a Job that is completely impossible for us to do?
I think that it may be different reasons for different people. I think some people simply don’t TRUST God to do what He said that He would do. I think some people just want to play God, thinking they know better and more than He. then I think that some people are just out for the hope of praise. It really brakes my heart to think of that, that we all do this in some fashion or another, some degree or another. If I am really honest I think that we ALL at different times of our Christian walk have found ourselves falling under all three of these horrible motives that were quietly guided by our flesh.

So again, Why do we continue to neglect our Job and attempt God’s. I think that it has a lot to do with PRIDE, we just don’t want to get down and dirty, We so desperately want to live the high life. We want to be important and special to PEOPLE, not God, it seems that we (Our flesh)so desires to live in and of this world.

In the process all our “Innocent” attempts at His Job we end up shaming His beautiful NAME. In the end we push those would be believers further away from His PEACE. I think that the answer just might be that maybe, just maybe we aren’t as beautiful, smart, and wise as we think we are. I am talking about our heart. Having Christ in our heart doesn’t makes us beautiful or smart or wise, it just gives us hope to be those things , asking Him in our heart is just the first step to HOPE. To be the things we want to be takes years of doing our JOB, the job that was given to us to do, Doing, living, breathing that job with all that we have in us. It is at times looking ugly , stupid, foolish, weak, on the outside while God cleans our heart on the inside. That, and only that is what will make us even remotely beautiful inside and out.

So even with God in our heart we, YES we, can mess everything up. If we find our thoughts wondering away from the junk in our heart,that by the way it takes YEARS to clean up,to someone else junk, then WE are part of the problem and are very quickly becoming religious.

It is OK if people read my entries and think less of me for the thoughts I have and share because that is part of my JOB. I am nothing in and of myself, except flawed and imperfect. It is my Lord and my DAILY Savior that makes anything good in me.I hope that this is a reminder to all who read this that we are ALL desperately in NEED of Christ DAILY, in fact we as believers and brother’s and sister’s in HIM need HIM more that anyone because we are called to be that light. That light has nothing to do with us, it is Christ shinning in and through us when we are on our face, it is when we put ourselves out there as just human and letting God simply do His Job, and us simply doing ours.

Just a thought

~C

I just want to thank my Lord for loving on me so hard to gently yet firmly confront me , heart to heart of the ugliness of my flesh. Thank you for leading me back to my JOB this weekend, giving me back a since of purpose that I lost the second I put my hands and thoughts on something that was not mine to do, on something that is far behind me. Thank you

This weekend My real Dad and sister, whom I just met last Jan, Came to celebrate christmas early with us. The weekend was great, we made lots of great new memories, it was just a great time of resting in each others presents with no expectations. God did a lot of really neat things, and put a lot of really cool things on my heart.

God must love me so much to be so incredibly patient with me.

You know how you will go your whole life thinking , believing, and doing things and never really knowing why that is. Like who said that is the way you are suppose to think or do or be , it is like this hidden unwritten code that we all find ourselves fallowing. Well God just kinda shined the light on a tinny part of that in my life.

Why is it that we as Christians spend so much time on TRYING to get people saved or leading them to Christ? I mean have you ever really thought about that. I think of so many people in my life that are not believers and have always hoped that I could win them or lead them to Christ through some wise words from the all knowing Chanda Brown. Most think of the goal as being saved as accepting Christ as in no hell. Why do we think that, I mean where did that come from. We are not suppose to do anything but live OUR life full of love , peace , patients, forgiveness, kindness, O yeah did I say LOVE. We are suppose to be growing and changing, we are suppose to be humble, we are to be servants, friends, encourager’s, givers. We are suppose to continually working on our own heart and more importantly being willing to let God work in and through every inch of us. Why is it that we focus so much on others, on SAVING others, I mean really where in the bible does it instruct us to be that Savior. Our Job is not to save any one but to just live, and to live for God, to pursue Him, to listen to Him to Just simply be….with Him.

I was talking to Josh about these thoughts I was being given and he pointed out something really cool. We (most Christians)are spending all our time trying to do God’s JOB, we are trying to be the Savior, and in the end looking secretly to get the praise that is to be God’s. The really funny part is that this Job,that we try doing that is not ours, is completely impossible for us to do and yet the Job that was given to us goes left undone. So we have unforgiving,hopeless, mean, discouraging, stingy people walking around trying to do God’s job. We really are a silly bunch aren’t we?!! When I think about it that way it really makes me laugh. That is why I think that God must really love me, that he loves me through my silly little ideas and intentions how ever farm from Him that they are.

So before my Dad and Sister came to visit this weekend I heard God saying to my heart to just love on them, love on them for who they are behind appearnance, behind weaknesses, behind religion. God loves them just as He does me whether they love Him and know Him or not. So this weekend I just loved on them and they loved on me and my family, there was NO pressure to win anything, it is so much easier to just do what we are called to do. By the way the funny thing is that I felt more love from them this weekend then i do from most christians I have been around my entire life. There is so so much more but I will save that for another entry.

Just a thought

~C

Just one of many moments in time where God’s beauty and amazing power was put out there for all to see.
Photo taken in southern California

This morning as i watched the sun slowly rise over the Tennessee mountain tops, God gave me a really cool thought.

Well this mornings sunrise was beautiful as are all of them, however I have seen much more beauty and color in others.Josh came up stairs to say good bye as he was about to head off to work.He asked, ” how was the sunrise this morning?” I told him it was beautiful but a little plain. right then as the word plain came out of my mouth it was like time stopped and God took me on a little journey in thought.

I absolutely LOVE the sun rising and setting, I believe that in those few moments at the beginning and end of each day He reveals just a glimps of His beauty to us all through the sun. Some mornings and evenings the sky is clear as far as the eye can see with out a blemish of a cloud in sight. And then there are times where the sky is covered with clouds with only a few openings of the clear blue. Each morning I find my self thinking of the clouds as the problem, they are going to mess up something AMAZING and BEAUTIFUL that will only last but minutes. Yet every morning with the clouds blocking my view of the sky, the sun slowly wakes up and rises over the hill tops. As the light begins to warm the earth and it’s bright light hits the clouds, it begins to soak them in the most richest colors. The depths of each cloud is known and changing with every second. it is like a wild fire of colors racing across the sky , consuming everything in sight.The clouds are what make us aware of the sun’s true beauty and power. We can not see the sun for it is far to magnificent for our eyes to take in.The sun is seen by it’s moving in and through the clouds , allowing the dull cloud to reflect it’s beauty and power in a way that we can see. In that same way God uses us to reflect His power and beauty, it is through our ugliness that God’s AMAZING Beauty is seen. If we were all perfect and without need as God is, His beauty and wonder would go unnoticed and unneeded. But it is our short comings, weakness, and failures as human beings that reflect God’s beauty, our lack welcomes God and His beauty and His power. Beauty without ugliness can not be seen in it’s true light.

Just a thought
~C

Today has started off to be a good day, which is so nice because the past few days have been really hard on me. I have been going back and forth from being excited about life to being completely defeated. The spiritual battle has been thick and heavy, I sense that something big is coming for the enemy to after me so hard, but what? What will God have me do? I have prayed many times for God to use me, I have felt that the past year and a half God has been preparing me for something, and now it is time to practice what I have been taught, to try out the new heart that God has been rebuilding. Today I am hopeful that God does have a plan for me , to put these old rusty gifts and talents to use, the things that I have fearfully hidden in the closet of my heart for so long. It is crazy to think of what I will be when I am set free and all the doors to my heart are opened. I know that I have all that I need RIGHT NOW to do what ever God should ask me to do, so I continue to wait.
~C

CAYLA, Cayla, cayla!

What will this little one do next? every day is a new day with her. Some days she drives me crazy and I’m not sure that I am cut out for this whole Mommy thing, then there are days like this when life’s little moments sneak up on you and kiss you on the cheek.
The picture speaks for it’s self, Enjoy!
~C

This is a quick sketch of a vision that I had during the first meeting with the Church Journey, there was just a since of freedom with the idea of two churches coming together. The vision is of a dove coming down and braking the chains that hold all of us down from being the way we are suppose to be,the way God created us to be. the chains represent the tinny box that we as believers shove our selves in, The chains are the RULES that we have given each other because of our fear and our need to control EVERYTHING, in the end excluding God all together. The dove is God’s Holy Spirit of TRUTH coming down and putting to shame all our small minded ways and allowing TRUE Freedom, God’s freedom, which by the way is the only knid of freedom. Allowing freedom to love eachother and to serve with our talents and gifting, ha imagine that