It has been a month now here at the Barnharts home, We have really enjoyed getting to know them, and they seriously are the sweetest family. However our hearts are aching for a place of our own, it is so hard for me to keep hope up right now. It just seems like nothing is ever going to happen, I think that last couple of days have been the hardest, I have just been getting overwhelmed. Right now I just feel like at any moment I am going to loose it and break down. Part of me is this weak, poor me, hopeless type and the other part of me is strong and full of HOPE and can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Part of me is so frustrated with the hopeless side , having no patients, yet the discouraged side is bearing most of the weight and is about to squash me. There is such a battle over my heart, the TRUTH says not to walk by sight but have FAITH in the unseen. The lies say that everything is going to fall apart and we will be forced to go back to apartments with our tails tucked between our legs. I believe in the TRUTH , yet the lies are at times very convincing. I know that God is fighting this one out hard for me, with every thought. Nearly everyday He slips me some words of HOPE.

Daily Light:
“Be sober, be vigilant;because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” (1Pet 5:8)
“Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.” (Eph 6:11-16)
“Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light.” (Mic 7:8)

So today the battle goes on , I know with ALL my heart that my God is good, so I will hold tight to that to day so that I am sure not to forget.
~C